Student #1

I was raised with a single mom and my twin brother. My real dad left when I was just a baby. My mother wasn’t very wealthy, but she had a friend who supported us a lot. He became a dad to us, like a “father figure.” When I turned about twelve my mom started to get sick. The doctor said she had kidney and liver failure, also a lot of other diseases. At first I didn’t really understand, but as I became older I did. I started to become very angry and had a feeling of emptiness inside. I always walked around with the fear of my mom dying. I knew that I needed help with everything that was going on, but I didn’t know how to get it. When I entered Jr. High I found many ways to relieve the pain, but only temporary. There was a group of girls I met who were into a thing called cutting. I started that in the middle of seventh grade. I cut everyday; it just became an addiction for me. That was never good enough; I still had a feeling of emptiness and pain. So I started using pot, and that led to speed, acid, pills, and many other drugs. I continued to feel worse and then tried to fill what I felt with impure things. That also became an addiction. When I started that I began to feel disgusted with myself, but couldn’t help it.

My life started to fall down hill, and very fast. I started to run with a skinhead gang. That was one of the biggest mistakes. It led to a lot of messed up things. I wanted to get out of it, but once you’re in, you’re in. My older sister started to get worried. I ended up living with her for a while because my mom started to get extremely sick. I remember the day my mom was at her house and my family and I were visiting with her.