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According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a testimony is:
2 a: firsthand authentication of a fact : EVIDENCE b: an outward sign c: a solemn declaration usually made orally by a witness under oath in response to interrogation by a lawyer or authorized public official
3 a: an open acknowledgment b: a public profession of religious experience
I was raised with a single mom and my twin brother. My real dad left when I was just a baby. My mother wasn’t very wealthy, but she had a friend who supported us a lot. He became a dad to us, like a "father figure." When I turned about twelve my mom started to get sick. The doctor said she had kidney and liver failure, also a lot of other diseases. At first I didn't really understand, but as I became older I did. I started to become very angry and had a feeling of emptiness inside. I always walked around with the fear of my mom dying. I knew that I needed help with everything that was going on, but I didn't know how to get it. When I entered Jr. High I found many ways to relieve the pain, but only temporary. There was a group of girls I met who were into a thing called cutting. I started that in the middle of seventh grade. I cut everyday; it just became an addiction for me. That was never good enough; I still had a feeling of emptiness and pain. So I started using pot, and that led to speed, acid, pills, and many other drugs. I continued to feel worse and then tried to fill what I felt with impure things. That also became an addiction. When I started that I began to feel disgusted with myself, but couldn't help it.
My life started to fall down hill, and very fast. I started to run with a skinhead gang. That was one of the biggest mistakes. It led to a lot of messed up things. I wanted to get out of it, but once you’re in, you're in. My older sister started to get worried. I ended up living with her for a while because my mom started to get extremely sick. I remember the day my mom was at her house and my family and I were visiting with her.
She started to become incoherent. We called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. That night I attempted suicide and felt the worst I had ever felt before. My sister took care of my brother and me while she was in the hospital. My sister's lifestyle only got me into a lot more trouble. Her and her husband drank and smoked all the time. My brother and I just continued down the wrong road with them. There was a night I got very drunk. It was just my brother, my sister's husband, and I. My brother had gone off to bed and left just the two of us alone. He started to kiss me and forced me to the ground. I couldn't fight back because I was too weak from the alcohol. That night I became a completely different girl. I felt disgusted with everything about myself. My aunt noticed how bad I started to behave. She started looking for a place to send me, so I could get some help. I had already been sent to mental hospitals, but that never helped. It had to be something different.
She found a place called Lighthouse Christian Academy. It was a girl's Christian boarding school in Jay, Florida. I left on October 22, 2004. When I got there the people were very welcoming to me. At first I felt uncomfortable, but in a few months it became a home to me. They based everything on God's Word. We had church Sunday and Wednesday nights, and went to Bible class every day.
I didn't get saved until June 12, 2005. I had said I was many times before, but I wasn't. When I did receive Jesus Christ I realized that I meant something in life. Jesus Christ died on the cross just for me. I became a completely different person after that day. It took me a while to get a few things, but I don't regret anything I did. I learned many things. People aren't always going to be there for you. Friends will always fail you, but my God will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5b,6). I started to develop self-control and respect.
Most importantly I found God's will for my life. That is to work in a ministry just like this. I want to reach out and help other lost teens that have no hope. I want to tell them that there is, but that the only way they can find true peace is in Jesus Christ. I also meant many new friends, and some that will last forever. The staff became my family. Accepting Jesus Christ was the best decision I have ever made. I have that peace I was searching for, but now it comes from the right place. I have an eternal home in Heaven, what else could I possibly want? I hope that this can help someone who is lost. You will never experience the joy I have until you accept Him for yourself. I encourage you to accept Jesus Christ. It will be the best choice you ever make. Live a life that will count in the end, and that's one for Jesus Christ. Psalm 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." Don't give up hope, its found in God's Word. You just have to allow Him to help.